/ot/ - Off-Topic

My confession is that I'm not even into gay sex anymore really, I just enjoy watching men get brutalized in any manner, not necessarily sexually. I feel like I've lost my trujoshi card.

Fujoshi scorn me but I'm too BL aligned for discussing media with non fujoshi. Frankly I never called myself as one I just enjoy male relationships more.
I prefer hate over love.
I need high stakes plot to see characters thoughts and actions and see what they are ready to sacrifice for their obsession. That's why I couldn't bond with official BL media besides danmei genre.

I wish I was brave enough to go to conventions to try to talk and meet other fujos. I haven't been to one since I was a teenager and even though I know the feeling has likely changed a lot, it seems like fun. I'm really anxious and stopped using social media years ago due to all the retarded pro / anti stuff colliding with my OCD themes like crazy, so I don't really have an outlet to talk to people like that anymore. I do have a friend who's also a fujo, but some things we don't share interests in and it would be nice to find someone else also into them.

I look like an ancient fujoshi but in reality I picked up this taste in pandemic when I found myself obligated to be a neet and distract myself from reality. My only contact with yaoi was some sonic ship fanarts back in my DeviantArt phase around the 2010s then I just forgot about the internet until Corona period.
I just getting in touch with the classics and discovering others things of my liking.

>>15322
do you feel any sense of loss knowing you could've been there when fandoms were still fun but only came back after the enshittification of everything? i feel like i've been chasing that dragon of the internet of my youth for ages now.

>>15323
I'm a zoomer so I never experienced "peak" internet but I was vaguely in fandoms during 2013-2015 and I miss that atmosphere/environment. Everything during that time was hardly politicized (I assume you'd only find those types on Tumblr or if you were into stuff like Homestuck), people weren't tying your fictional tastes into moral values, you could ship incest and age gap and no one would really give a shit, yada yada yada. Now unless you subject yourself to only looking at fanart or hiding in gatekept Discord servers, every other post is a 24-page thinkpiece. Like people used to basically rickroll others by recc'ing Boku no Pico but if you did that now you'd get a bunch of people jumping you for spreading CSAM or some shit.

>>15323
Maybe it's the case for other fujos but I tend to avoid active fandom spaces like the pest since I started using internet, I've been like a lone wolf and never liked the drama around the anti discourse or the tumblrfication of fiction, also those were the things that cost me more braincells to understand at least the minimum for recognize if I got into a discussion that were straight stupid to give a shit about it.
I do feel the nostalgia and the yearn to participate but personally I prefer slow exchange and sharing a general hobby rather than a specific fandom just because all of the above reasons written. Maybe I'm too old or I got too normified during my offline years.

>>15323
I've always felt that about Black butler. The community must've been pretty comfy at some point in the past. Apparently the worst it got was Lizzie hate but I wouldn't have given a fuck.

>>15324
I'm a millennial (typing this with 34 year old hands) and 2013 was already the beginning of the end. race, disability, trans and sexuality headcanons took off on Tumblr along with kinning characters. instead of bitching at people for being problematic, the kinnies would send (anon) hate to fujos/other fans for portraying their "kin" in a way they didn't like. i would have 15 year old yowapeda or haikyuu fans in my inbox crying about me talking shit about them because I wrote fanfiction in a way they didn't like (didn't make their fave character fat, hairy and with a pussy). I left Tumblr in 2015 because it got so bad. imagine my horror when that shit slowly took over shitter too and now you can't go anywhere without moralfagging and gender bullshit. you can still find vestiges of old school fujodom in the RP scene on dreamwidth but unfortunately they still got infected with the troonwoke virus so a lot of them are they/thems and lose their shit over hp/jkr regularly.

>>15329
Yeah, 2012-3 was peak Homestuck and I remember seeing transbending take off there, and racebending, which only made sense in that fandom because the characters did not have canon skin tone but somehow spread everywhere else. The incest shippers did get hate, like always, but they could still chill in their own corner and those ships were very popular. I don't remember any handwringing over ages of characters and there was a ton of age gap shipping and pseudoincest with the Trolls but I do remember one Japanese fan artist getting dogpiled for posting explicit shota art from a popular AU.
>>15326
Feels sad when you see the old Youtube comments from that time.

>>15315
My confession is that I can't stop self-inserting like a yume except I only watch BL so I am dangerously close to becoming a TIF. If I just watch the two guys having a story and making out and having sex at some point it's like "oh wow good for them" but if I self insert as the one of them it's heaven and I orgasm very quickly and after I'm done. I feel terrible that I will never experience that because I'm not a guy. Can anyone here relate?
Rest assured I will kill myself before I ever become an "Aiden he/they fudanshi"

>>15329
You're better than me, I deleted my tumblr account in 2016. I wish I did this earlier like you.

>>15332
>which only made sense in that fandom because the characters did not have canon skin tone
Not really, it's a retcon. Back then I had several mutuals into Homestuck, this made me curious enough to start reading the webcomic which was boring, a waste of time and unlike what everyone said it gets a lot worse as soon as act 5 starts. I remember very well two things:
>at some point there's a reference like "fly for a white guy" that refers to Dave
>at some point one of the main characters with glasses, I don't remember which one, eats a weird magical candy and her behavior is getting weird. Instead of being depicted in black and white she looks all colorful and pastel or neon and says the phrase "I'M FEELING CAUCASIAN" which made all of tumblr lose their mind and harrass the guy who created Homestuck because this nonsensical edgy joke contradicted their headcanons of the character being Latina or Asian depending on who you asked back then. He was accused of racism left and right and changed the line to "I'M FEELING PEACHY" and apologized. My dashboard was a mess because of this one single panel for weeks.

>>15335
The striders are so obviously intended to be white guys it's hilarious seeing people claim they're black because of the rapping thing

>>15324
>Boku no Pico
I remember watching the whole trilogy with /hsg/ (Homestuck General) on livestream.com or something like that lol.
>>15329
It was wild how aggro every teenager on tumblr was. Even back when I was an angsty teen online I would never have done anything like that. What empowered them? Were they ALL just raised that way? Was it peer pressure? Was it RaceFail 09? It feels like I went to bed one night and when I woke up fandom was just Like This now. At least for the online rightoid propagation we can now look to the Epstein Files lmao

>>15334
I could relate until you felt terrible. It's a sexual fantasy, you don't want to actually live as a man. I think I've had more orgasms in my life imagining cumming inside a guy than actually thinking about having sex but that's not because I want to be a man. Sexual fantasies do not need to be lived experiences.

>>15334
I don't think you're tif. It also requires certain level of unconformity with your own self/body image in a way makes you feel the urge to change something or everything.
I think there's a lot of nonas that gets more interested into consuming bl or gay porn in general because there's no women being objectified thus not comparing yourself to someone else body.